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Creating a Do-over Day

by Jo Wilkie

Do you remember as kid when you were playing games, calling out, “Do over!!” I sure do. My brother was always cheating. Well, maybe not, but he was older and I was always crying for a do over…

I am loving my increased Yoga and Meditation practice this month as well as working with my words of intention, openhearted clarity. As I would expect, I feel more buoyant and light in everything, which leads me back to my do-over day.

Yesterday morning, I needed to go get some bloodwork done for the upcoming medical procedure I’m having done. Mark and I decided to make it a family outing, taking Susanne on her tricycle. Things were going great until, horror of horrors, I broke Susanne’s treat at the cafe. Tears and whining ensued, which I always find particularly challenging to deal with when we are in public because I end up letting a whiny child dictate the rules because I so badly want her to STOP.

Mark started getting tense, I started getting tense, then we began to have a veiled argument about the location of the clinic where the blood was going to be taken and I started freaking out that I wasn’t going to make it before they closed. Good lord. After I got Susanne calm and we were on our way to the clinic, Mark was still brooding when I called for a Do Over.

It was tough, but we finally managed to talk about what the heart of the matter was for both of us instead of staying caught in the irritation. Usually, unexpectedly, that’s all it takes to stop the reactive response. With my increased practice time and my focus on openhearted clarity, I can say I was able to cultivate more open communication and stop what could have become a bad day, in it’s tracks.

Internally, I took a deep breath, and was able to recognize what was happening: for me, many times, including yesterday, it’s expecting people or things to be different than they really are. I accepted that I was having unrealistic expectations and then, I let it go. I hit the internal reset button so I could really start over with both Mark and Susanne.

The rest of the day was great. We took Susanne to the park and Erick and I had a great discussion about things that are coming up. Susanne bounced back and ended up having a wonderful day, too.

It’s so easy to get caught up in five or ten bad minutes and have it taint the rest of our day. What I’m learning is to let go of those bad minutes and move on to the next moment that is fresh and ready for my attention. And it is only when I am present in that new moment that I can call for a Do Over and make it stick.

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